[ Spock dislikes touching people, as most Vulcans do, but he can put aside general distaste for necessity. And now it is most necessary. So he wraps a hand around Jim's upper arm, then his shoulder, careful not to grip too tight, and making sure his movements were straightforward, without hesitation but also slow enough to not startle Jim.
One of the advantages of a thorough education based on logic is the ability to disseminate information and make connections that other individuals might not see. Spock has always been successful at this; there is a reason he is a scientist. Which means, between everything he has witnessed today, those whispered words of Riley's, and Jim's actions, he can ascertain that something is deeply wrong, something involving Tarsus IV and Karidian. He knows, now, that Jim was there. And he suspects, though it is only a hypothesis at the moment, that Karidian is not who he says he is, and is, in fact, Kodos. But he cannot ascertain that yet.
Spock does not bother repeating himself, simply guides Jim out of the transporter room and to med bay. Riley is the important injury they need to manage, but not all of the nurses are occupied, so he grabs one to scan over Jim. No direct injuries, all of the blood not his, but dehydration and shock.
There are reasons why Spock and Jim clashed so much, and why they are now friends. They are too much alike in certain ways, and Spock cannot leave the captain in the middle of a bustling, busy med bay to suffer shock. So he asks another question, finally: ]
[ Jim is far too lost in his own mind, and the shock overwhelming every last one of his senses to do more than follow his First Officer. The grip is enough to urge him into movement, falling into halting step beside him, with only a shuffle or two to indicate that he might be having difficulty with it.
They started off in the transporter room, but Jim is in a daze as they move towards medical. So much, that after Spock has him seated on a bio-bed, he is lost again in his own thoughts and memories, even as he's given a mostly clean bill of health. Riley needs more attention. Jim's ailments, physical ones at least, can be seen to with water and a shower.
Spock's easy question breaks through something and he looks up in mild confusion. ]
Do I---no. No, I have to stay here with Thomas. He can't look after himself.
[ Spock has no desire to command and does not particularly see the appeal about being placed in a position of making decisions, even though he is quite capable of doing so when need dictates. In this moment, he recognizes that Jim is not as composed as he might appear and also that sickbay is not the right place for him. ]
Jim, it is not Thomas here but Lieutenant Riley. He is in the capable hands of Dr. McCoy. [ Spock speaks quietly, even as he wraps a hand around Jim’s upper arm and helps him off the bio-bed. ] Let us return to your quarters.
[ He all but has to drag Jim out, but Spock can manage that. He has Jim in front of his quarters within minutes, and rather than waiting for the captain to make use of his access codes, uses his own override to open the door. ]
Thomas isn't---? [ For about ten seconds he seems completely baffled, and it reads plainly on his face. Of course Thomas is here. He's been looking after his best friend for over a week now. Who else would be here with him? ]
Right. You're right. [ Even though Spock still has to pull him along, he mostly goes with it, despite his daze. He doesn't even remember making it to his quarters, but once they are inside he shuffles in, blinking slowly. He heads in, sitting on the edge of his bed, and just loses himself to his own thoughts for a moment.
It isn't until his uniform, still covered around the middle in blood, starts to itch at his skin as it dries---that he rouses out of it. He frowns, tugging at it to get it off of him, and tosses it away. His face screws up in obvious upset, and he then barrels into the bathroom, turning on the water to scrub at his hands. The water comes away pink, and he tries not to look at it as it goes down the drain, breath coming ragged and fast. ]
[ Spock has all the patience instilled in him from a young age, even though it is not natural to him. (He is a man of action and movement, even when still.) But he can wait for Kirk to come around, completely unsure of how to help someone in shock; he is no doctor, even if he knows the basics. When Kirk moves to the bathroom, he hovers at the door, allowing his captain some privacy but not wanting to be too far from his friend.
He does cross the room for a minute, retreating to the closet to grab another shirt for Kirk, then returns to the bathroom to wait in the door. ]
Jim, your hands are clean.
[ After a minute, listening to the water running, he says that. Somehow, he doubts Kirk will actually listen to, or if he does, understand that Spock is speaking only literally. ]
Come out here. After today, you must rest.
[ Not that Spock intends to let him rest, not yet. He has questions. But it is a way to get Kirk out of the bathroom. ]
[ Jim has already scrubbed his hands pink by the time he registers what Spock has said, grabs the towel to clean the bit of blood off his torso that soaked through, and returns to the doorway to take the shirt from his friend. His brow furrows, mouth drawn in a tight line, and he shakes his head slowly. ]
I don't want to rest right now.
[ He shuffles towards the bed, pulling the shirt over his head, and takes a seat again. He feels---lost. He half knows where he is and half doesn't. After a few long moments, he looks up at Spock. ]
I thought I left this nightmare behind 13 years ago, Spock. This shouldn't---
[ Of everyone on the ship, Spock is the least equipped to deal with emotional turmoil and he knows this very well. But considering that he has been by Jim's side all day and he has serious reservations about Jim confiding in anyone, let alone someone who lacks the context of today.
So he stays. Follows Jim across the room to sit next to him on the bed, closer than he would normally sit to anyone else. When Jim falls silent, he speaks up, finally. ]
You were on Tarsus, during the unknown attack on the colony. It left over 4,000 individuals dead by the time Starfleet was able to reach the colony and provide assistance. [ It is speculation, but Spock has enough information that he can say it is not merely a guess. ] Lieutenant Riley was involved, and somehow the gentleman we encountered earlier. Who is he, Jim? I have been able to find no information about him, as Karidian seemingly sprang from nowhere.
[ Spock shifts toward him, angling his body so he can study Jim. He would rather not look at Jim, but there is something to be said for studying his expressions. ] Will you share this information with me?
[ At first, Jim only stares. He stares because he can't possibly know. But of course, of all people, Spock would find out. Of course he'd look into it. He's equal parts upset and grateful, but then the story comes out. The story they told after it all happened.
He looks down at his hands, rubbing at an imaginary stain for a moment. ]
Unknown attack. [ He's about to simply go with it, but then Spock brings up Riley. The man from earlier who was Kodos. He had to be. He knew the man's voice and face just as surely as Riley did. He didn't think he'd ever forget him as long as he lived. ] It wasn't---he's---
[ Jim shakes his head minutely, bottom lip quivering of it's own volition. ] I can't, Spock. Please.
[ He wants to. He does. He's so tired of carrying this. He's so tired of knowing that Starfleet has been lying long before Marcus. That there was some kind of corruption even then. Maybe he's more scared to admit that.
That the shadows have been there for longer than either of them could determine. Did it start with the Kelvin? Was it before that? He looks over, eventually, after Spock sits, and something about the way he's studying him causes the break. ]
It wasn't an attack. [ Every breath, every word, feels like a betrayal to the uniform he just took off. The one stained with Riley's blood. The one Spock is wearing now. Even after all these years, he doesn't understand why it all happened. Why it took Starfleet so long to get to them. ] Starfleet lied. It wasn't an attack.
[ There are things - such a vague word, but so encompassing, Spock can understand why individuals make use of the term - events and situations and emotions that can never be put into words. Spock knows this is so, even as the logical aspect of his mind rejects the idea that not everything can be expressed verbally.
This is one of those times for Jim. There is so much in his voice, emotion that Spock can discern, and it gives him pause; Jim, for all his unrestrained emotion, does not display these emotions so flagrantly on a normal basis.
He listens. Spock is capable of infinite patience, when it suits him, in specific situations, though it is not a normal state. So he listens to Jim talk, absorbs the words, and finally responds. ]
Jim. Show me.
[ It will be easier than talking, because Spock can hear the break in his voice, and knows what it means.
In another world, Starfleet might have been admirable. But this is their world, and Spock can no longer trust the Federation or Starfleet much. Not with the lies of Marcus, the blind eye all had turned toward him, the lies that keep coming up from times before. When did they start? But no, that is speculation and not something to which Spock is given. So instead, he focuses on Jim, shifting closer, hand raised. ]
Show me. [ He repeats it, as though it is necessary. ] It will go faster than attempting to talk.
[ Jim is human. He's an emotional creature by simple biology alone. Most humans are. He's vibrant and passionate at the best of times, dynamic and constantly spinning like the galaxy they explore. There's a tenuous balance he's found, a temperament he has begun to ease into that is slowly becoming a new normal.
He is still passionate when the time calls for it. More often than not he's more tempered by command and his past. ]
Show you?
[ Slow and confused, almost child-like. He doesn't understand what he's asking him for. He doesn't put it all together until Spock raises his hand, and repeats himself. His actions speak for him before his words can, and he pulls back, eyeing the other man's hand warily.
He remembers that. He knows what it does. He doesn't understand how because he had no idea until that moment that Vulcans even had that ability. ]
Our minds together? [ As one. The words come easily enough, but he remembers the overload of emotional transference that had come with it. It was a hell of a price. He wasn't certain he wanted to offer much the same to his friend. He also wasn't certain that he could keep himself together for---that. ] Spock, I---
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no subject
One of the advantages of a thorough education based on logic is the ability to disseminate information and make connections that other individuals might not see. Spock has always been successful at this; there is a reason he is a scientist. Which means, between everything he has witnessed today, those whispered words of Riley's, and Jim's actions, he can ascertain that something is deeply wrong, something involving Tarsus IV and Karidian. He knows, now, that Jim was there. And he suspects, though it is only a hypothesis at the moment, that Karidian is not who he says he is, and is, in fact, Kodos. But he cannot ascertain that yet.
Spock does not bother repeating himself, simply guides Jim out of the transporter room and to med bay. Riley is the important injury they need to manage, but not all of the nurses are occupied, so he grabs one to scan over Jim. No direct injuries, all of the blood not his, but dehydration and shock.
There are reasons why Spock and Jim clashed so much, and why they are now friends. They are too much alike in certain ways, and Spock cannot leave the captain in the middle of a bustling, busy med bay to suffer shock. So he asks another question, finally: ]
Jim, do you wish to return to your quarters?
no subject
They started off in the transporter room, but Jim is in a daze as they move towards medical. So much, that after Spock has him seated on a bio-bed, he is lost again in his own thoughts and memories, even as he's given a mostly clean bill of health. Riley needs more attention. Jim's ailments, physical ones at least, can be seen to with water and a shower.
Spock's easy question breaks through something and he looks up in mild confusion. ]
Do I---no. No, I have to stay here with Thomas. He can't look after himself.
no subject
Jim, it is not Thomas here but Lieutenant Riley. He is in the capable hands of Dr. McCoy. [ Spock speaks quietly, even as he wraps a hand around Jim’s upper arm and helps him off the bio-bed. ] Let us return to your quarters.
[ He all but has to drag Jim out, but Spock can manage that. He has Jim in front of his quarters within minutes, and rather than waiting for the captain to make use of his access codes, uses his own override to open the door. ]
no subject
Right. You're right. [ Even though Spock still has to pull him along, he mostly goes with it, despite his daze. He doesn't even remember making it to his quarters, but once they are inside he shuffles in, blinking slowly. He heads in, sitting on the edge of his bed, and just loses himself to his own thoughts for a moment.
It isn't until his uniform, still covered around the middle in blood, starts to itch at his skin as it dries---that he rouses out of it. He frowns, tugging at it to get it off of him, and tosses it away. His face screws up in obvious upset, and he then barrels into the bathroom, turning on the water to scrub at his hands. The water comes away pink, and he tries not to look at it as it goes down the drain, breath coming ragged and fast. ]
no subject
He does cross the room for a minute, retreating to the closet to grab another shirt for Kirk, then returns to the bathroom to wait in the door. ]
Jim, your hands are clean.
[ After a minute, listening to the water running, he says that. Somehow, he doubts Kirk will actually listen to, or if he does, understand that Spock is speaking only literally. ]
Come out here. After today, you must rest.
[ Not that Spock intends to let him rest, not yet. He has questions. But it is a way to get Kirk out of the bathroom. ]
no subject
I don't want to rest right now.
[ He shuffles towards the bed, pulling the shirt over his head, and takes a seat again. He feels---lost. He half knows where he is and half doesn't. After a few long moments, he looks up at Spock. ]
I thought I left this nightmare behind 13 years ago, Spock. This shouldn't---
no subject
So he stays. Follows Jim across the room to sit next to him on the bed, closer than he would normally sit to anyone else. When Jim falls silent, he speaks up, finally. ]
You were on Tarsus, during the unknown attack on the colony. It left over 4,000 individuals dead by the time Starfleet was able to reach the colony and provide assistance. [ It is speculation, but Spock has enough information that he can say it is not merely a guess. ] Lieutenant Riley was involved, and somehow the gentleman we encountered earlier. Who is he, Jim? I have been able to find no information about him, as Karidian seemingly sprang from nowhere.
[ Spock shifts toward him, angling his body so he can study Jim. He would rather not look at Jim, but there is something to be said for studying his expressions. ] Will you share this information with me?
no subject
He looks down at his hands, rubbing at an imaginary stain for a moment. ]
Unknown attack. [ He's about to simply go with it, but then Spock brings up Riley. The man from earlier who was Kodos. He had to be. He knew the man's voice and face just as surely as Riley did. He didn't think he'd ever forget him as long as he lived. ] It wasn't---he's---
[ Jim shakes his head minutely, bottom lip quivering of it's own volition. ] I can't, Spock. Please.
[ He wants to. He does. He's so tired of carrying this. He's so tired of knowing that Starfleet has been lying long before Marcus. That there was some kind of corruption even then. Maybe he's more scared to admit that.
That the shadows have been there for longer than either of them could determine. Did it start with the Kelvin? Was it before that? He looks over, eventually, after Spock sits, and something about the way he's studying him causes the break. ]
It wasn't an attack. [ Every breath, every word, feels like a betrayal to the uniform he just took off. The one stained with Riley's blood. The one Spock is wearing now. Even after all these years, he doesn't understand why it all happened. Why it took Starfleet so long to get to them. ] Starfleet lied. It wasn't an attack.
no subject
This is one of those times for Jim. There is so much in his voice, emotion that Spock can discern, and it gives him pause; Jim, for all his unrestrained emotion, does not display these emotions so flagrantly on a normal basis.
He listens. Spock is capable of infinite patience, when it suits him, in specific situations, though it is not a normal state. So he listens to Jim talk, absorbs the words, and finally responds. ]
Jim. Show me.
[ It will be easier than talking, because Spock can hear the break in his voice, and knows what it means.
In another world, Starfleet might have been admirable. But this is their world, and Spock can no longer trust the Federation or Starfleet much. Not with the lies of Marcus, the blind eye all had turned toward him, the lies that keep coming up from times before. When did they start? But no, that is speculation and not something to which Spock is given. So instead, he focuses on Jim, shifting closer, hand raised. ]
Show me. [ He repeats it, as though it is necessary. ] It will go faster than attempting to talk.
no subject
He is still passionate when the time calls for it. More often than not he's more tempered by command and his past. ]
Show you?
[ Slow and confused, almost child-like. He doesn't understand what he's asking him for. He doesn't put it all together until Spock raises his hand, and repeats himself. His actions speak for him before his words can, and he pulls back, eyeing the other man's hand warily.
He remembers that. He knows what it does. He doesn't understand how because he had no idea until that moment that Vulcans even had that ability. ]
Our minds together? [ As one. The words come easily enough, but he remembers the overload of emotional transference that had come with it. It was a hell of a price. He wasn't certain he wanted to offer much the same to his friend. He also wasn't certain that he could keep himself together for---that. ] Spock, I---