[ Jim knew that they weren't giving them all the information. It wasn't simply a gut feeling steering that train of thought, but also the benefit---strange word to use---of past experience. Experience that seemed superimposed on him in the here and now every time he attempted to shrug himself out of his own thoughts. He felt like a collapsing star, weight and pressure bearing down to crush and snuff out the light trying desperately to escape. It takes eight minutes for the light of the sun to reach Earth.
It takes no time at all for a distress call to be swallowed up by the void of space and distance and time. It takes minutes for worlds to be turned upside down. It takes weeks for help to arrive. Monsters don't lurk in the depths of space or the secret areas of an unknown world. They lurk in people. Like Marcus. Like---he pulls in a breath when Spock starts to respond, and uses it as a lifeline, letting it buoy him out of the waves dragging him down in his mind. ]
Detailed report. [ There's no small amount of doubt that colors his tone. ] I have my doubts about the validity of what reports we'll be given by our hosts.
That aside, I want to offer as much assistance as we can. Equipment, supplies, personnel. There are still a lot of their people out there that need to be brought back here to the capitol.
[ He shifts from where he's leaning against the wall, drops his arms, and looks back towards Spock, meets his eyes for barely a second, and then drops them. He can't---Spock is too keen in his observational skills. Right now he feels if he looks too long or too hard, then he'll see all of the ugly truths hiding behind his eyes. All the things he isn't allowed to talk about.
All of the things he can't say or the horrors will never, ever stop.
There's a small shelter, not far from where they are staying, and he moves to rest against the balcony then. The wind picks up, ruffling his hair, and he's not sure if the scent of misery and decay is real or imagined. There's a man at the head of the line with the guard who has a list of survivors being kept there. He's begging. Jim knows what he's asking without hearing the words. It's written all over the man in his gestures, bone-deep in his frame.
His breath hitches painfully when he breaks into a wail, and his hands curl tightly on the stone. ]
Edited (sorry had to delete a word) 2016-05-25 20:17 (UTC)
[ There was nothing in Spock's past that could give him any sort of framework to go off in dealing with this situation. But he was adept at extrapolating and processing and though his own mind could not conceive of the horror of such a situation, he is familiar enough with history to understand massacres. And knows, in a way he would be loathe to put to words for there is little concrete evidence, that this situation is was a massacre. Perhaps not in the strictest definition of the term, but close enough for Spock to know it counts.
Help will never arrive quickly enough. Spock knows this; the knowledge was burned into his mind the day Vulcan was destroyed. But sometimes, he wonders why it takes so long, why their technology supposedly fails them when they need it most. Technology is not infallible, but so often it fails when the situation is dire - and people have little training to deal when the very structure of their world fails them.
On Vulcan, it was whispered that the minds of humans are filled with lies. Childhood rumors, but a prejudice that stuck, lending to the superiority that Vulcans had over humans. Vulcans knew their logic was flawless and that they spoke only the truth. Spock knew differently, thanks to his mother, and experiences the truth every day, but he has not forgotten.
The reports - if they receive detailed reports at all - will be full of such lies. He cannot refute Jim's comment and does not try, simply nods his head in agreement. ]
There will need to be careful examination of all details contained within reports, verified with eye witnesses and a close look at the various colonies.
[ In other words, Spock wants to discover as much about the situation as possible, because what is the point of Starfleet if not to investigate and solve problems? ]
We will offer as much assistance as is needed, Captain. The Enterprise has her orders, and crew will start arriving in the morning to facilitate.
[ It doesn't occur to Spock to ask about Jim's insistence. Yet. While they might have military training and experience, with battles fought and won and lost, they attempt some semblance of peacekeeping. Help was not a concern.
But Spock does take careful note of Jim's responses. They are unusual enough to be examined, and it is preferable to focus on the captain, rather than the long line of people waiting for help. Spock has already surveyed the line: it is long and the people are malnourished. He estimates at least a five percent decrease in the line by morning, and not because of help arriving. The frustration and anger, amidst the weariness and defeat, is hard to block. ]
I would hear your thoughts about this situation, Captain. How shall we proceed with the councilors?
[ There is no need for such strict formality now, but he keeps to titles and roles, a reminder of why they are present in such a place.
Carefully. I want to keep working towards their end goal of joining the Federation, but I can't turn a blind eye to an obvious tragedy. I want to go to the colony, assist with relocation even off-planet if need be, and make sure that as few people are overlooked as possible.
[ So much death. So much unnecessary loss of life. They've looked over the science behind their self-contained terraforming systems, and it is sound. It isn't without dangers, though. While he can list off a number of issues that might come up in just the reading he has done, his gut tells him that something else is going on. His instincts are screaming at him, and they may not be based on fact, but he can't dismiss what he feels. ]
I'll talk to the Chancellor personally about direct assistance, but I won't take no for an answer. [ It isn't exactly protocol, but he's not backing down or letting go of this easy. He hopes Spock can understand that, even if Jim can't share with him the reasons why. ]
If this was an accident that went terribly wrong, or some kind of sabotage---they aren't going to let us delve far into it. They'll block us, but considering that you've shared with me the advanced nature of the science behind it, I feel pretty confident in assuming that this isn't just a mishap.
We also need to speak to the people, not the politicians involved. I want to know what happened on ground level.
Very well, Jim. A contingent can begin preparations to travel to the colony. Assuming you will personally accompany them, I will inform them to be ready to travel within the next two days.
[ The next day would be another day of diplomatic talks, no chance for the captain to leave to travel to the colony, but it could be arranged after. It is not too surprising to Spock that Jim wants to make the trip himself, but Spock is well aware of the captain's tendency toward wandering into dangerous situations. Ensuring he would travel with others is important. ]
I wish to join you on this. A closer inspection of the colony and the systems contained inside is important for documenting our findings to Starfleet.
[ This isn't just a mishap. Those are not the words Spock would use, but they are a logical point. Spock does not believe in idle speculation and there is not yet enough data to support a hypothesis, but he knows science. He knows what should and should not be possible. The level of contamination, the death of crops, and the failure of multiple life support systems? Are all not entirely possible. Not all at once, not with the spread they have displayed.
He will say nothing, but a closer examination is necessary.
There is more going on in this world than he can see on the surface, but Spock does not trust these men. They are unsettling, as is this world. Perhaps it is the death around them, something that still suits poorly on his shoulders, but he cannot say for certain and does not try to dig deeper. ]
Lieutenant Uhura can round up people and talk to them. She is the best for such a scenario, as she can be quite empathetic.
[ It is a practical solution, one he knows makes the most sense. Uhura, along with her team, can gather people and talk to them, as she is the communications officer. ]
Good. I know I can't get out of the talks with the delegates tomorrow, but I'm going to bring this up in the morning for sure.
[ He knows Spock is being lenient with him, spoiling him even. He's not even supposed to go there with a detachment, he knows. His safety would be put at risk. He knows. He can't let this go, and Jim is pretty sure Spock knows that. He's grateful for it.
His grey uniform jacket is already unzipped, but he shakes his head slowly, caught up in his thoughts, and takes it off, setting it away on the back of a chair. It feels heavy to wear right now, and he knows it's all in his head. He can hear Pike in his head, from all those years ago: You know what the Federation is, right? It's important. ]
Uhura would be good, yeah. Make sure she has all the back-up she needs. There could be riots. [ He says it like it is only a possibility, but he knows in his gut that it will happen, it's only a matter of time. ]
Earlier I heard an estimate of the death toll before the delegates left us for the evening. It's only growing, and---I'm sitting here talking. [ He doesn't mean to Spock, of course. He means the delegates. ] What am I doing?
What we're doing, in Starfleet, as part of the Federation is important. It doesn't mean anything to the people on ground-level right now. We ---have to be careful here. Very careful.
[ Jim knows cause once he was on ground-level of a tragedy of this magnitude. He knows cause it took him years and years to let go of his bitterness and anger of where was Starfleet when we needed them? ]
[ Spock simply watches Jim strip off his jacket, offering nothing until he finishes. This is why Starfleet needed Jim and why Jim is captain.
It is fascinating to watch him think through the situation.
There will be a delegation with Jim, when he goes. Spock will be there, because he does not believe in these men, and it is his duty to watch over his captain. There is a reason why Jim is captain; there is also a reason why Spock is first officer. ]
Uhura will have the necessary back-up. As will Dr. McCoy, when he starts examinations of the individuals here. [ And Spock doubts she will complain about those that, once she realizes the intensity of the situation. ] All bridge staff who venture out will have a member of security with them.
[ All of the bridge crew - all of the Enterprise crew, really - were adept at dealing with hostiles and capable of taking care of themselves in troublesome situations. But they had security for a reason, and Spock would see to it that they took all necessary precautions to avoid injury. ]
Captain - Jim. You are only one man, and while your frustrations at the inability to proceed with prompt action are understandable, we still must maintain trust between the Federation and the people here. Moving swiftly, without cooperation from the local government, could be seen as an act of war.
I want detailed reports from every one of the crew involved down here. Each department, including security.
[ Jim knows in his gut that he has the best crew in the fleet. He knows they will follow the rules to the letter and his orders. They will do everything they can to help these people, provided they will accept the help. He's the captain, because he can make the hard decisions. That's what they call it. Spock is there at his side to keep him level when his own human emotion is a hindrance instead of a guiding hand. Bones is there when his compassion gets the better of him and he needs the kind of counsel he can't get from his first officer. It's a precarious balancing act, but they manage it well. ]
I know that, Commander. [ Perhaps a little more terse than usual. He doesn't mean to be. When he's thinking more clearly, he'll regret the tone. ] I do. They're welcoming our help at the moment, because they feel that if they refuse that it will damage their chances of joining the Federation.
I want to see if we can find out about the government of the colony. The governor and his officials. His security force. Did they bring any of the officials back? Did any of them survive the---malfunction?
i couldn't resist the name; can change if it doesn't work
[ They do have the best crew in the fleet. It is fact, one that no one can deny. From their officers to the most junior crew members, each of them has skills and talents that are unparalleled by any. It is why they are so often sent on missions like this, though not the only reason, where the combination of skills from the crew are necessary, and few others could handle the intricacies required.
And despite the trials they have all faced to get to this point, they are still untried, lacking in the experience to handle such delicate operations. Most of them are operating blindly, including Spock.
They will succeed, as Jim has shown him time and time again that there is no other option, but to what degree?
Spock refrains from comment at the illogical order; of course the departments will provide detailed reports, that is part of their assignment on every trip. Spock reads them all, and he knows Jim does actually pay attention to the reports.
But the terse tone does get a raised eyebrow. He does not find it rude, as humans might, but there is a certain surprise. Spock steps forward, to stand at Jim's side. There is the faintest breeze blowing that manages to get beneath the covering on the balcony, and Spock watches as it ruffles Jim's hair. ]
There are a few who survived. From one colony, six of the ten officials survived. Only two survived from another, one Mr. Karidian and his daughter. I will have reports sent to your PADD before I retire for the evening. It is possible to arrange for a dialogue with the officials.
[ He ruminates over the choice of the word 'malfunction'. It appears, on the surface, to be a simple malfunction of engineering, technology gone wrong. Not an impossibility in their world, as it happens time and time again. But the differences in survivors, the technology he has seen - it is set of circumstances he does not entirely comprehend yet.
And so he cannot help but add: ]
Jim, when you visit the colonies, I will join you. I wish to observe these colonies and look at the malfunctions in person, rather than relying on the reports given.
[ It's strange to think of them as untried or untested after so much has happened, but it is true. They'll pass the trials as they come. Like this. They'll get through, Jim knows it.
He casts a glance back when Spock steps up to stand at his side, and he stares very hard at a particular spot on the railing for no reason at all. Something doesn't add up. Something still feels off. Feels wrong. He's not sure what it is. ]
I'd like to find out when they are available to speak, after they're cleared medically.
[ He stands up fully, and makes himself turn away from the line still lingering outside of the relief center. His arms remain crossed tightly over his chest. He tries to offer a smile when he says that he'll join him, but it falls short and the light of it dies out long before it reaches his eyes. ]
I expected nothing less, Spock. There isn't anyone better that I'd want to take a look at it. Right now, though. I---I think we should both try to get some rest. Don't worry about the list tonight, you can send it to me in the morning.
I think I'm ready to turn in, though.
[ He isn't ready, by a long shot, but he can't handle being with anyone right now. What he wants, right then, is to call his friend Thomas on Planet Q. He wants to hear his voice. He wants to hear that he's ok. Thomas is the only good thing that came out of that a very bad time of his life. ]
[ Spock wants to talk to them for his own reasons, though they are possibly, tangentially related to the reasons Jim wants to talk to them. He does not pretend to know Jim's mind on this, but he understands enough to know something deeper is bothering his captain. ]
I shall take my leave then, Jim. [ He does not add that Jim should try to sleep, or offer well wishes for the evening, as that is not customary for him. And he suspects Jim will not sleep comfortably; none of the human crew members will, with the depressing atmosphere of the colony and the frustrations all around them. ] Your schedule for tomorrow is on your PADD, and I will inform you as soon as travel arrangements are made.
[ There are reasons why Spock is the best first officer in the 'Fleet, and though eidetic memory and organizational skills are only a small portion of that reason, they do help. Adding in the fact that he requires only a little sleep, he is a master of efficiency.
Spock bows and turns on his heel, heading for his own rooms granted him for their stay, already composing messages in his head.
It does not take as long as he suspected to arrange for travel. Possibly because he makes the arrangements through an independent travel company he finds, rather than through official channels. One can only gain so much freedom with government officials, as Spock knows all too well, and he is not afraid to put the force of Vulcan, still relatively powerful despite their hardships, behind his request.
Still, they have little free time; juggling meetings is no easy work, even for a Vulcan. But he manages it, and three nights later, Spock finds himself approaching Jim once again, out on the same balcony. ]
Captain. We are free from meetings tomorrow; it will be the best time to visit the colonies. I have already made arrangements, all that is required is your confirmation.
Also, you wished to be informed when the surviving officials from the colonies have been cleared medically. While I have not queried them regarding their desire to speak, I did discover that Mr. Karidian and his daughter are both to be released tomorrow afternoon, which will leave us a short window in the morning to approach while they are in the hospital.
I would not suggest such an action normally, but with such circumstances, paying an unexpected visit might produce unexpected results.
[ He stares out over the landscape. Fewer people in lines now, but that is not promising. The death toll still rises. ]
[ Their regular meetings, on top of the ones that have been scheduled outside of it, mixed with the relief work, are taxing to say the very least. Jim had gone out each day after their final official meeting, and helped with what relief work he could. He'd been down there in those lines, trying to do as much as possible.
It was difficult being out there, past trying to bubble up to and choke him. He swallowed it down. He kept working. He kept helping those he could.
When Spock came to find him a few days after their first conversation, telling him that travel arrangements were made, and two of the survivors of the government were prepared to leave the hospital, he nodded tiredly. He was exhausted, still dirty from being out there on the streets helping with others of his crew. He'd been surprisingly distant and terse with most everyone, but not intentionally. ]
I agree. If something did happen outside of the malfunction, I'd rather not give them the chance to formulate a story with everyone else as to what went down.
[ After that update, it's another night of little sleep before he's dressed in working uniform in order to head to the colony and blend in a little better. It's easy enough to be there when the Karidians are let out of the hospital they are in, and he clocks Lenore from the picture on the PADD. Strangely, there wasn't one of her father.
He goes up to her, putting on the best diplomatic smile he has, and introduces himself as the Captain of the USS Enterprise, offering his sincerest condolences as to the hardships, and explaining that they only hoped to have a moment to try and fully understand what happened at the colony where they were. He's shrugged off rather expertly, it's almost impressive how Lenore manages it, before her father's voice cuts through the air, and it feels like Jim was just cut through to his core. ]
A report was already given as to the details of the accident. My daughter and I have been through a great ordeal, and I find it quite inhuman how someone might prey on an old man and his daughter for answers to questions they have already gotten.
[ Jim, for his part, is too shocked to respond. He knows that voice. How could he forget that voice? That face. He can hear Spock starting to speak in response to the abrupt dismissal despite his captain's sudden lack of ability to speak. ]
these are perfectly nice, by a certain painful definition of nice
[ Spock is no monster; he does understand that to approach someone when they are just released from the hospital is déclassé, to say the least. It would be the height of rudeness in any society, even Vulcan society. It has not stopped him before, demanding answers from people when they are lying on biobeds and McCoy is screaming at him to allow his patients respite.
There is a job Spock must do and that is to be the voice of reason on a ship of humans. He does not shrink from it. If he is rude, then he can accept that. They need answers from this man, and there will be little chance to get answers later.
He watches carefully when Jim freezes. It is an unexpected reaction, because he is not used to seeing Jim in anything but motion, always restless, snapping back replies with ease. But they are a command team, a good one, for a reason, and Spock steps up to his side, to speak to Karidian. ]
You are a man of action, Mr. Karidian. One who has to make decisions and discover answers. Surely you understand why we are here.
[ He watches Karidian's face for anything, but the man is a consummate actor. There is only genial displeasure, a noted contrast to his daughter's temper.
She says something and Spock almost thinks of her as a a little buzzing fly, one he could easily smack away. But she is a human, and young at that, so he does nothing and says nothing, only ignores her.
Karidian raises a hand and she falls silent, and his next words are perfectly bland. ]
I've an old mind to match an old body, and do not speak in riddles. You want my answers; they have been given.
[ There is a reason they are a damn near perfect command team. This is one of those reasons. On a rare occasion where Jim is struck mute, Spock steps up in order to direct the conversation that should be happening.
Jim is trying, desperately, to shake himself out of his memory-induced stupor, but to no avail. All he can hear in his head is a voice declaring death to four thousand. Your lives mean a slow death to the more valued members of the colony. He finally snaps out of it, but only when the two move out of his field of vision, refusing to have anything more to do with Spock's questions. ]
What---[ A beat as he finally drags himself back to the moment, he clenches his hands which he can feel shaking, and his nails dig half circles into his palms. ]---Mr. Spock, what did you say their names were?
[ Spock watches them go and does not look at Jim until they are out of his field of vision. The fact that they are so unwilling to talk and answer a few questions, impropriety be damned, does not show promise. Even Vulcans, who remain forever tight-lipped about their world, are not so reluctant to discuss matters of life and death.
Finally, he looks back to Jim, face expressionless. He has questions, but now is not the time, and Spock knows that. He guides Jim about, one hand on his shoulder, and heads back to the small shuttle they had for the day. ] I was unable to find much information in the databases about them. The records only date back thirteen years. Are you familiar with them, Captain?
[ He is rooted to the spot, like his feet have suddenly turned to lead, and he feels sick. He doesn't move until there's Spock's hand on his shoulder, guiding and steering him along toward the shuttle to take them out to the colonies which malfunctioned.
It couldn't be him. It couldn't. They found his body burned beyond recognition in the governor's mansion. It's his imagination getting the better of him. But that voice. ]
I thought I---[ You look at me, Jim. You have to run, do you understand me? He has to visibly swallow past the bile threatening to choke him at the unbidden memory that swarms up to drag him down. ]---No. I don't know them.
I'm sorry I folded back there. Won't happen again. When we get on board can I see the PADD with all the officials information on it? I want to review it again.
[ Which he does on the trip out. Again. Again, but only ever scrutinizing Karidian's face. Only ever poring over it, and trying to match the face in his memory to the old, haggard man on the page. He brings up other data files. Tarsus IV. Survivor list. Himself. Thomas. Wait, Riley? ]
Mr. Spock, has Kevin Riley been down on the planet assissting in the relief efforts that you know of?
[ Listed as a person of interest in the attack. Jim knows why. It's the same reason he and Thomas are listed as such. They saw Kodos's face. They heard his speech condemning them all to death. If he saw Karidian---would he think what Jim does now? ]
[ Spock says nothing in response to Jim's admission of folding. It is a swift apology, offered with no explanation; the best form of an apology, really. Though Spock wonders - this entire situation has been trying on all of them, but Jim especially. Something about the people, about this place, has made him react Spock does not expect. Thus he cannot create plans and contingencies, which means he is reacting on his feet more often than he would like.
If he did not know Jim as well as he does, Spock might put it down to his captain simply displaying aspects of his humanity. But they have encountered other situations that, while not as dire, could have gotten him to fold, and he had not. There is something about the circumstances of this place.
It is a mystery. Spock hates mystery.
He pulls his attention back to the situation at hand when Jim queries him about the crew. ]
He has been assisting with food distribution and various repairs on the planet. Is there something about him of particular interest?
[ Spock is familiar with Riley's records; he is a solid crew member, perhaps not one of the brightest, but good enough to serve on the Enterprise. Spock can see no reason why Jim would mention him. ]
[ It makes sense now. Too much sense. Martial law. Executions. Help come too late. Always too late. Could he still be wrong though?
Could he be imagining a monster that is long dead? And what if he isn't? He has no proof to back him. He has nothing but his memories. Nothing but a handful of rumors as useful as dust in the sunlight. ]
I want him put with one of the groups with a security detachment. Kept away from the officials and the hospital. If he argues, send him back up to the ship. Understood?
[ Spock raises an eyebrow at that, somewhat surprised. Jim normally does not snap out orders like that, though when he does, it is usually the result of a highly emotional state. ]
Is there a reason for this order, Captain? As a junior crewman, working only on repairs or handing out food, he poses little risk of angering anyone.
[ Despite his question, Spock is already typing it into his PADD, though the lack of a signal means he cannot transmit it to Riley or anyone else who could otherwise communicate the order to the necessary individuals.
If there is one thing Spock dislikes in this world, it is the ease at which communications break down, frequencies end in radio silence, and signals get dropped. ]
[ Jim's jaw clenches at the question and his teeth grind audibly. His mouth works silently a moment as Spock speaks his mind. Usually Jim would welcome such things, not right now. Not considering what is possibly at stake. ]
I don't have to give any specific reason for it, Mr. Spock. I just want you to get it done as soon as possible.
[ He notes that they don't have any signal to communicate back to the others in the capital, so the message won't reach them until after their survey. He makes a soft, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. ]
As soon as we get back to the capital, I want him reassigned. Understood?
[ For a moment, Spock is tempted to argue back. This is irrational and illogical, to single out a specific crewman for accompaniment with no reason, and it is on the tip of his tongue to inform Jim of that fact.
Especially with him not telling Spock. They have been working on communicating better and generally Spock gets answers for Jim's actions, or can deduce the reasoning. This is a reminder of their first months working together, when their differences seemed too huge to over.
Spock takes in the clenched jaw and hears the teeth grinding - an action he should cease, as it will simply cause jaw pain and affect his dental work - and decides against it. He inclines his head. ]
Very well, Captain. As there is little we can do at the moment, you should refocus your attention on the colony.
[ If he sounds a little more reserved than usual, well, most people do not notice the differences in Vulcan speech tones.
Spock adds another note to his growing mental list, and resolves to look at the connection between Jim and Kevin Riley and Karidian. ]
[ Jim has learned to read Spock fairly well, and he can see the tick of his jaw that heralds his displeasure with the current situation. The fact that he is displeased with how things are being handled and the lack of communication on Jim's part. ]
My attention is on the colony. It's also on keeping my people crew safe.
[ He can hear the more reserved tone, and he dismisses it. He can't focus on that now. He scrolls through a few reports, and then casts a glance back to him. ]
You said you couldn't find that much information on Karidian and his daughter. You mean it wasn't there, or ---did it only become available after a certain stardate?
[ Did it correlate with Starfleet finally arriving on Tarsus IV 13 years ago? He doesn't ask it out loud though. ]
[ It appears, at least to Spock, that there is something else going on in Jim's head, something that is distracting him. He has always been firm about protecting his crew, but this is unexpected and unique. ]
Their records date back only that far and there is no prior information for either of them, despite the fact that Karidian at least should have a lengthy history. It is as though they sprang into existence only 13 years ago, my distaste for the phrase aside.
[ Spock had noted how odd was, the fact that nothing existed before. Even his security clearance and hacking abilities had turned up nothing. ]
[ There is something on his mind. Something that has been on his mind for days now. It's eating him up a little bit at time, dividing his attention and making him relive things he never, ever wanted to revisit again. Now here it is, thrust right back into the forefront of his mind and his life.
Except now he has to wonder of he's making up ghosts and monsters, or are they real. Is it possible that Kodos the Executioner is here, now, on this colony?
He's pouring over the historical information that Spock sent to him, but his head snaps up when Spock says that. His thoughts grind to a particularly painful halt, his heart is in his throat, and he feels rocked to his core. ]
13? [ He clears his throat slightly, trying to find a voice that has suddenly left him. His face is pale with shock. ] 13 years, you're sure?
[ Of course he's sure, this is Spock he's talking to. ]
[ Spock might forgive Jim losing his temper and snapping. Could shrug off not talking to him. But questioning him about a number? Questioning him - Spock - about information he has read?
Either Jim is losing his mind or... Jim is losing his mind. There is no other option, because Spock knows well enough that Jim knows he does not incorrectly remember numbers.
He stares at Jim, taking in the pale face, the unsteady voice, the sheer oddity of all of this, and it helps temper his comment slightly. ]
Of course I am sure, Captain. It is a date. Need I remind you I have an eidetic memory?
[ His voice is still lost-sounding. He feels like he's come untethered in the worst way, floating in the black of space in an EVA suit that's just running out of air with each breath he takes. This is a nightmare he thought he buried happening all over again in real time.
His gaze drops down to the PADD in his hands again. To the face of a monster staring back at him. Hesitantly, and he's never been hesitant to meet his first officer's gaze, he looks back over at him. Right now, though, he feels like the slightest scrutiny will reveal every secret he's ever had. Every nightmare he has swallowed in secret. ]
Comma---Spock, what do you know about a colony by the name of Tarsus IV?
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It takes no time at all for a distress call to be swallowed up by the void of space and distance and time. It takes minutes for worlds to be turned upside down. It takes weeks for help to arrive. Monsters don't lurk in the depths of space or the secret areas of an unknown world. They lurk in people. Like Marcus. Like---he pulls in a breath when Spock starts to respond, and uses it as a lifeline, letting it buoy him out of the waves dragging him down in his mind. ]
Detailed report. [ There's no small amount of doubt that colors his tone. ] I have my doubts about the validity of what reports we'll be given by our hosts.
That aside, I want to offer as much assistance as we can. Equipment, supplies, personnel. There are still a lot of their people out there that need to be brought back here to the capitol.
[ He shifts from where he's leaning against the wall, drops his arms, and looks back towards Spock, meets his eyes for barely a second, and then drops them. He can't---Spock is too keen in his observational skills. Right now he feels if he looks too long or too hard, then he'll see all of the ugly truths hiding behind his eyes. All the things he isn't allowed to talk about.
All of the things he can't say or the horrors will never, ever stop.
There's a small shelter, not far from where they are staying, and he moves to rest against the balcony then. The wind picks up, ruffling his hair, and he's not sure if the scent of misery and decay is real or imagined. There's a man at the head of the line with the guard who has a list of survivors being kept there. He's begging. Jim knows what he's asking without hearing the words. It's written all over the man in his gestures, bone-deep in his frame.
His breath hitches painfully when he breaks into a wail, and his hands curl tightly on the stone. ]
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Help will never arrive quickly enough. Spock knows this; the knowledge was burned into his mind the day Vulcan was destroyed. But sometimes, he wonders why it takes so long, why their technology supposedly fails them when they need it most. Technology is not infallible, but so often it fails when the situation is dire - and people have little training to deal when the very structure of their world fails them.
On Vulcan, it was whispered that the minds of humans are filled with lies. Childhood rumors, but a prejudice that stuck, lending to the superiority that Vulcans had over humans. Vulcans knew their logic was flawless and that they spoke only the truth. Spock knew differently, thanks to his mother, and experiences the truth every day, but he has not forgotten.
The reports - if they receive detailed reports at all - will be full of such lies. He cannot refute Jim's comment and does not try, simply nods his head in agreement. ]
There will need to be careful examination of all details contained within reports, verified with eye witnesses and a close look at the various colonies.
[ In other words, Spock wants to discover as much about the situation as possible, because what is the point of Starfleet if not to investigate and solve problems? ]
We will offer as much assistance as is needed, Captain. The Enterprise has her orders, and crew will start arriving in the morning to facilitate.
[ It doesn't occur to Spock to ask about Jim's insistence. Yet. While they might have military training and experience, with battles fought and won and lost, they attempt some semblance of peacekeeping. Help was not a concern.
But Spock does take careful note of Jim's responses. They are unusual enough to be examined, and it is preferable to focus on the captain, rather than the long line of people waiting for help. Spock has already surveyed the line: it is long and the people are malnourished. He estimates at least a five percent decrease in the line by morning, and not because of help arriving. The frustration and anger, amidst the weariness and defeat, is hard to block. ]
I would hear your thoughts about this situation, Captain. How shall we proceed with the councilors?
[ There is no need for such strict formality now, but he keeps to titles and roles, a reminder of why they are present in such a place.
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[ So much death. So much unnecessary loss of life. They've looked over the science behind their self-contained terraforming systems, and it is sound. It isn't without dangers, though. While he can list off a number of issues that might come up in just the reading he has done, his gut tells him that something else is going on. His instincts are screaming at him, and they may not be based on fact, but he can't dismiss what he feels. ]
I'll talk to the Chancellor personally about direct assistance, but I won't take no for an answer. [ It isn't exactly protocol, but he's not backing down or letting go of this easy. He hopes Spock can understand that, even if Jim can't share with him the reasons why. ]
If this was an accident that went terribly wrong, or some kind of sabotage---they aren't going to let us delve far into it. They'll block us, but considering that you've shared with me the advanced nature of the science behind it, I feel pretty confident in assuming that this isn't just a mishap.
We also need to speak to the people, not the politicians involved. I want to know what happened on ground level.
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[ The next day would be another day of diplomatic talks, no chance for the captain to leave to travel to the colony, but it could be arranged after. It is not too surprising to Spock that Jim wants to make the trip himself, but Spock is well aware of the captain's tendency toward wandering into dangerous situations. Ensuring he would travel with others is important. ]
I wish to join you on this. A closer inspection of the colony and the systems contained inside is important for documenting our findings to Starfleet.
[ This isn't just a mishap. Those are not the words Spock would use, but they are a logical point. Spock does not believe in idle speculation and there is not yet enough data to support a hypothesis, but he knows science. He knows what should and should not be possible. The level of contamination, the death of crops, and the failure of multiple life support systems? Are all not entirely possible. Not all at once, not with the spread they have displayed.
He will say nothing, but a closer examination is necessary.
There is more going on in this world than he can see on the surface, but Spock does not trust these men. They are unsettling, as is this world. Perhaps it is the death around them, something that still suits poorly on his shoulders, but he cannot say for certain and does not try to dig deeper. ]
Lieutenant Uhura can round up people and talk to them. She is the best for such a scenario, as she can be quite empathetic.
[ It is a practical solution, one he knows makes the most sense. Uhura, along with her team, can gather people and talk to them, as she is the communications officer. ]
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[ He knows Spock is being lenient with him, spoiling him even. He's not even supposed to go there with a detachment, he knows. His safety would be put at risk. He knows. He can't let this go, and Jim is pretty sure Spock knows that. He's grateful for it.
His grey uniform jacket is already unzipped, but he shakes his head slowly, caught up in his thoughts, and takes it off, setting it away on the back of a chair. It feels heavy to wear right now, and he knows it's all in his head. He can hear Pike in his head, from all those years ago: You know what the Federation is, right? It's important. ]
Uhura would be good, yeah. Make sure she has all the back-up she needs. There could be riots. [ He says it like it is only a possibility, but he knows in his gut that it will happen, it's only a matter of time. ]
Earlier I heard an estimate of the death toll before the delegates left us for the evening. It's only growing, and---I'm sitting here talking. [ He doesn't mean to Spock, of course. He means the delegates. ] What am I doing?
What we're doing, in Starfleet, as part of the Federation is important. It doesn't mean anything to the people on ground-level right now. We ---have to be careful here. Very careful.
[ Jim knows cause once he was on ground-level of a tragedy of this magnitude. He knows cause it took him years and years to let go of his bitterness and anger of where was Starfleet when we needed them? ]
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It is fascinating to watch him think through the situation.
There will be a delegation with Jim, when he goes. Spock will be there, because he does not believe in these men, and it is his duty to watch over his captain. There is a reason why Jim is captain; there is also a reason why Spock is first officer. ]
Uhura will have the necessary back-up. As will Dr. McCoy, when he starts examinations of the individuals here. [ And Spock doubts she will complain about those that, once she realizes the intensity of the situation. ] All bridge staff who venture out will have a member of security with them.
[ All of the bridge crew - all of the Enterprise crew, really - were adept at dealing with hostiles and capable of taking care of themselves in troublesome situations. But they had security for a reason, and Spock would see to it that they took all necessary precautions to avoid injury. ]
Captain - Jim. You are only one man, and while your frustrations at the inability to proceed with prompt action are understandable, we still must maintain trust between the Federation and the people here. Moving swiftly, without cooperation from the local government, could be seen as an act of war.
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[ Jim knows in his gut that he has the best crew in the fleet. He knows they will follow the rules to the letter and his orders. They will do everything they can to help these people, provided they will accept the help. He's the captain, because he can make the hard decisions. That's what they call it. Spock is there at his side to keep him level when his own human emotion is a hindrance instead of a guiding hand. Bones is there when his compassion gets the better of him and he needs the kind of counsel he can't get from his first officer. It's a precarious balancing act, but they manage it well. ]
I know that, Commander. [ Perhaps a little more terse than usual. He doesn't mean to be. When he's thinking more clearly, he'll regret the tone. ] I do. They're welcoming our help at the moment, because they feel that if they refuse that it will damage their chances of joining the Federation.
I want to see if we can find out about the government of the colony. The governor and his officials. His security force. Did they bring any of the officials back? Did any of them survive the---malfunction?
i couldn't resist the name; can change if it doesn't work
And despite the trials they have all faced to get to this point, they are still untried, lacking in the experience to handle such delicate operations. Most of them are operating blindly, including Spock.
They will succeed, as Jim has shown him time and time again that there is no other option, but to what degree?
Spock refrains from comment at the illogical order; of course the departments will provide detailed reports, that is part of their assignment on every trip. Spock reads them all, and he knows Jim does actually pay attention to the reports.
But the terse tone does get a raised eyebrow. He does not find it rude, as humans might, but there is a certain surprise. Spock steps forward, to stand at Jim's side. There is the faintest breeze blowing that manages to get beneath the covering on the balcony, and Spock watches as it ruffles Jim's hair. ]
There are a few who survived. From one colony, six of the ten officials survived. Only two survived from another, one Mr. Karidian and his daughter. I will have reports sent to your PADD before I retire for the evening. It is possible to arrange for a dialogue with the officials.
[ He ruminates over the choice of the word 'malfunction'. It appears, on the surface, to be a simple malfunction of engineering, technology gone wrong. Not an impossibility in their world, as it happens time and time again. But the differences in survivors, the technology he has seen - it is set of circumstances he does not entirely comprehend yet.
And so he cannot help but add: ]
Jim, when you visit the colonies, I will join you. I wish to observe these colonies and look at the malfunctions in person, rather than relying on the reports given.
that was my heart it's fine.
He casts a glance back when Spock steps up to stand at his side, and he stares very hard at a particular spot on the railing for no reason at all. Something doesn't add up. Something still feels off. Feels wrong. He's not sure what it is. ]
I'd like to find out when they are available to speak, after they're cleared medically.
[ He stands up fully, and makes himself turn away from the line still lingering outside of the relief center. His arms remain crossed tightly over his chest. He tries to offer a smile when he says that he'll join him, but it falls short and the light of it dies out long before it reaches his eyes. ]
I expected nothing less, Spock. There isn't anyone better that I'd want to take a look at it. Right now, though. I---I think we should both try to get some rest. Don't worry about the list tonight, you can send it to me in the morning.
I think I'm ready to turn in, though.
[ He isn't ready, by a long shot, but he can't handle being with anyone right now. What he wants, right then, is to call his friend Thomas on Planet Q. He wants to hear his voice. He wants to hear that he's ok. Thomas is the only good thing that came out of that a very bad time of his life. ]
sorry not sorry!
[ Spock wants to talk to them for his own reasons, though they are possibly, tangentially related to the reasons Jim wants to talk to them. He does not pretend to know Jim's mind on this, but he understands enough to know something deeper is bothering his captain. ]
I shall take my leave then, Jim. [ He does not add that Jim should try to sleep, or offer well wishes for the evening, as that is not customary for him. And he suspects Jim will not sleep comfortably; none of the human crew members will, with the depressing atmosphere of the colony and the frustrations all around them. ] Your schedule for tomorrow is on your PADD, and I will inform you as soon as travel arrangements are made.
[ There are reasons why Spock is the best first officer in the 'Fleet, and though eidetic memory and organizational skills are only a small portion of that reason, they do help. Adding in the fact that he requires only a little sleep, he is a master of efficiency.
Spock bows and turns on his heel, heading for his own rooms granted him for their stay, already composing messages in his head.
It does not take as long as he suspected to arrange for travel. Possibly because he makes the arrangements through an independent travel company he finds, rather than through official channels. One can only gain so much freedom with government officials, as Spock knows all too well, and he is not afraid to put the force of Vulcan, still relatively powerful despite their hardships, behind his request.
Still, they have little free time; juggling meetings is no easy work, even for a Vulcan. But he manages it, and three nights later, Spock finds himself approaching Jim once again, out on the same balcony. ]
Captain. We are free from meetings tomorrow; it will be the best time to visit the colonies. I have already made arrangements, all that is required is your confirmation.
Also, you wished to be informed when the surviving officials from the colonies have been cleared medically. While I have not queried them regarding their desire to speak, I did discover that Mr. Karidian and his daughter are both to be released tomorrow afternoon, which will leave us a short window in the morning to approach while they are in the hospital.
I would not suggest such an action normally, but with such circumstances, paying an unexpected visit might produce unexpected results.
[ He stares out over the landscape. Fewer people in lines now, but that is not promising. The death toll still rises. ]
this is why we can't have nice things
It was difficult being out there, past trying to bubble up to and choke him. He swallowed it down. He kept working. He kept helping those he could.
When Spock came to find him a few days after their first conversation, telling him that travel arrangements were made, and two of the survivors of the government were prepared to leave the hospital, he nodded tiredly. He was exhausted, still dirty from being out there on the streets helping with others of his crew. He'd been surprisingly distant and terse with most everyone, but not intentionally. ]
I agree. If something did happen outside of the malfunction, I'd rather not give them the chance to formulate a story with everyone else as to what went down.
[ After that update, it's another night of little sleep before he's dressed in working uniform in order to head to the colony and blend in a little better. It's easy enough to be there when the Karidians are let out of the hospital they are in, and he clocks Lenore from the picture on the PADD. Strangely, there wasn't one of her father.
He goes up to her, putting on the best diplomatic smile he has, and introduces himself as the Captain of the USS Enterprise, offering his sincerest condolences as to the hardships, and explaining that they only hoped to have a moment to try and fully understand what happened at the colony where they were. He's shrugged off rather expertly, it's almost impressive how Lenore manages it, before her father's voice cuts through the air, and it feels like Jim was just cut through to his core. ]
A report was already given as to the details of the accident. My daughter and I have been through a great ordeal, and I find it quite inhuman how someone might prey on an old man and his daughter for answers to questions they have already gotten.
[ Jim, for his part, is too shocked to respond. He knows that voice. How could he forget that voice? That face. He can hear Spock starting to speak in response to the abrupt dismissal despite his captain's sudden lack of ability to speak. ]
these are perfectly nice, by a certain painful definition of nice
There is a job Spock must do and that is to be the voice of reason on a ship of humans. He does not shrink from it. If he is rude, then he can accept that. They need answers from this man, and there will be little chance to get answers later.
He watches carefully when Jim freezes. It is an unexpected reaction, because he is not used to seeing Jim in anything but motion, always restless, snapping back replies with ease. But they are a command team, a good one, for a reason, and Spock steps up to his side, to speak to Karidian. ]
You are a man of action, Mr. Karidian. One who has to make decisions and discover answers. Surely you understand why we are here.
[ He watches Karidian's face for anything, but the man is a consummate actor. There is only genial displeasure, a noted contrast to his daughter's temper.
She says something and Spock almost thinks of her as a a little buzzing fly, one he could easily smack away. But she is a human, and young at that, so he does nothing and says nothing, only ignores her.
Karidian raises a hand and she falls silent, and his next words are perfectly bland. ]
I've an old mind to match an old body, and do not speak in riddles. You want my answers; they have been given.
thanks for that, mr. spock.
Jim is trying, desperately, to shake himself out of his memory-induced stupor, but to no avail. All he can hear in his head is a voice declaring death to four thousand. Your lives mean a slow death to the more valued members of the colony. He finally snaps out of it, but only when the two move out of his field of vision, refusing to have anything more to do with Spock's questions. ]
What---[ A beat as he finally drags himself back to the moment, he clenches his hands which he can feel shaking, and his nails dig half circles into his palms. ]---Mr. Spock, what did you say their names were?
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[ Spock watches them go and does not look at Jim until they are out of his field of vision. The fact that they are so unwilling to talk and answer a few questions, impropriety be damned, does not show promise. Even Vulcans, who remain forever tight-lipped about their world, are not so reluctant to discuss matters of life and death.
Finally, he looks back to Jim, face expressionless. He has questions, but now is not the time, and Spock knows that. He guides Jim about, one hand on his shoulder, and heads back to the small shuttle they had for the day. ] I was unable to find much information in the databases about them. The records only date back thirteen years. Are you familiar with them, Captain?
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It couldn't be him. It couldn't. They found his body burned beyond recognition in the governor's mansion. It's his imagination getting the better of him. But that voice. ]
I thought I---[ You look at me, Jim. You have to run, do you understand me? He has to visibly swallow past the bile threatening to choke him at the unbidden memory that swarms up to drag him down. ]---No. I don't know them.
I'm sorry I folded back there. Won't happen again. When we get on board can I see the PADD with all the officials information on it? I want to review it again.
[ Which he does on the trip out. Again. Again, but only ever scrutinizing Karidian's face. Only ever poring over it, and trying to match the face in his memory to the old, haggard man on the page. He brings up other data files. Tarsus IV. Survivor list. Himself. Thomas. Wait, Riley? ]
Mr. Spock, has Kevin Riley been down on the planet assissting in the relief efforts that you know of?
[ Listed as a person of interest in the attack. Jim knows why. It's the same reason he and Thomas are listed as such. They saw Kodos's face. They heard his speech condemning them all to death. If he saw Karidian---would he think what Jim does now? ]
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If he did not know Jim as well as he does, Spock might put it down to his captain simply displaying aspects of his humanity. But they have encountered other situations that, while not as dire, could have gotten him to fold, and he had not. There is something about the circumstances of this place.
It is a mystery. Spock hates mystery.
He pulls his attention back to the situation at hand when Jim queries him about the crew. ]
He has been assisting with food distribution and various repairs on the planet. Is there something about him of particular interest?
[ Spock is familiar with Riley's records; he is a solid crew member, perhaps not one of the brightest, but good enough to serve on the Enterprise. Spock can see no reason why Jim would mention him. ]
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Could he be imagining a monster that is long dead? And what if he isn't? He has no proof to back him. He has nothing but his memories. Nothing but a handful of rumors as useful as dust in the sunlight. ]
I want him put with one of the groups with a security detachment. Kept away from the officials and the hospital. If he argues, send him back up to the ship. Understood?
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Is there a reason for this order, Captain? As a junior crewman, working only on repairs or handing out food, he poses little risk of angering anyone.
[ Despite his question, Spock is already typing it into his PADD, though the lack of a signal means he cannot transmit it to Riley or anyone else who could otherwise communicate the order to the necessary individuals.
If there is one thing Spock dislikes in this world, it is the ease at which communications break down, frequencies end in radio silence, and signals get dropped. ]
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I don't have to give any specific reason for it, Mr. Spock. I just want you to get it done as soon as possible.
[ He notes that they don't have any signal to communicate back to the others in the capital, so the message won't reach them until after their survey. He makes a soft, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. ]
As soon as we get back to the capital, I want him reassigned. Understood?
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Especially with him not telling Spock. They have been working on communicating better and generally Spock gets answers for Jim's actions, or can deduce the reasoning. This is a reminder of their first months working together, when their differences seemed too huge to over.
Spock takes in the clenched jaw and hears the teeth grinding - an action he should cease, as it will simply cause jaw pain and affect his dental work - and decides against it. He inclines his head. ]
Very well, Captain. As there is little we can do at the moment, you should refocus your attention on the colony.
[ If he sounds a little more reserved than usual, well, most people do not notice the differences in Vulcan speech tones.
Spock adds another note to his growing mental list, and resolves to look at the connection between Jim and Kevin Riley and Karidian. ]
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My attention is on the colony. It's also on keeping my people crew safe.
[ He can hear the more reserved tone, and he dismisses it. He can't focus on that now. He scrolls through a few reports, and then casts a glance back to him. ]
You said you couldn't find that much information on Karidian and his daughter. You mean it wasn't there, or ---did it only become available after a certain stardate?
[ Did it correlate with Starfleet finally arriving on Tarsus IV 13 years ago? He doesn't ask it out loud though. ]
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[ It appears, at least to Spock, that there is something else going on in Jim's head, something that is distracting him. He has always been firm about protecting his crew, but this is unexpected and unique. ]
Their records date back only that far and there is no prior information for either of them, despite the fact that Karidian at least should have a lengthy history. It is as though they sprang into existence only 13 years ago, my distaste for the phrase aside.
[ Spock had noted how odd was, the fact that nothing existed before. Even his security clearance and hacking abilities had turned up nothing. ]
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[ There is something on his mind. Something that has been on his mind for days now. It's eating him up a little bit at time, dividing his attention and making him relive things he never, ever wanted to revisit again. Now here it is, thrust right back into the forefront of his mind and his life.
Except now he has to wonder of he's making up ghosts and monsters, or are they real. Is it possible that Kodos the Executioner is here, now, on this colony?
He's pouring over the historical information that Spock sent to him, but his head snaps up when Spock says that. His thoughts grind to a particularly painful halt, his heart is in his throat, and he feels rocked to his core. ]
13? [ He clears his throat slightly, trying to find a voice that has suddenly left him. His face is pale with shock. ] 13 years, you're sure?
[ Of course he's sure, this is Spock he's talking to. ]
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Either Jim is losing his mind or... Jim is losing his mind. There is no other option, because Spock knows well enough that Jim knows he does not incorrectly remember numbers.
He stares at Jim, taking in the pale face, the unsteady voice, the sheer oddity of all of this, and it helps temper his comment slightly. ]
Of course I am sure, Captain. It is a date. Need I remind you I have an eidetic memory?
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[ His voice is still lost-sounding. He feels like he's come untethered in the worst way, floating in the black of space in an EVA suit that's just running out of air with each breath he takes. This is a nightmare he thought he buried happening all over again in real time.
His gaze drops down to the PADD in his hands again. To the face of a monster staring back at him. Hesitantly, and he's never been hesitant to meet his first officer's gaze, he looks back over at him. Right now, though, he feels like the slightest scrutiny will reveal every secret he's ever had. Every nightmare he has swallowed in secret. ]
Comma---Spock, what do you know about a colony by the name of Tarsus IV?
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