[ Spock wants to talk to them for his own reasons, though they are possibly, tangentially related to the reasons Jim wants to talk to them. He does not pretend to know Jim's mind on this, but he understands enough to know something deeper is bothering his captain. ]
I shall take my leave then, Jim. [ He does not add that Jim should try to sleep, or offer well wishes for the evening, as that is not customary for him. And he suspects Jim will not sleep comfortably; none of the human crew members will, with the depressing atmosphere of the colony and the frustrations all around them. ] Your schedule for tomorrow is on your PADD, and I will inform you as soon as travel arrangements are made.
[ There are reasons why Spock is the best first officer in the 'Fleet, and though eidetic memory and organizational skills are only a small portion of that reason, they do help. Adding in the fact that he requires only a little sleep, he is a master of efficiency.
Spock bows and turns on his heel, heading for his own rooms granted him for their stay, already composing messages in his head.
It does not take as long as he suspected to arrange for travel. Possibly because he makes the arrangements through an independent travel company he finds, rather than through official channels. One can only gain so much freedom with government officials, as Spock knows all too well, and he is not afraid to put the force of Vulcan, still relatively powerful despite their hardships, behind his request.
Still, they have little free time; juggling meetings is no easy work, even for a Vulcan. But he manages it, and three nights later, Spock finds himself approaching Jim once again, out on the same balcony. ]
Captain. We are free from meetings tomorrow; it will be the best time to visit the colonies. I have already made arrangements, all that is required is your confirmation.
Also, you wished to be informed when the surviving officials from the colonies have been cleared medically. While I have not queried them regarding their desire to speak, I did discover that Mr. Karidian and his daughter are both to be released tomorrow afternoon, which will leave us a short window in the morning to approach while they are in the hospital.
I would not suggest such an action normally, but with such circumstances, paying an unexpected visit might produce unexpected results.
[ He stares out over the landscape. Fewer people in lines now, but that is not promising. The death toll still rises. ]
[ Their regular meetings, on top of the ones that have been scheduled outside of it, mixed with the relief work, are taxing to say the very least. Jim had gone out each day after their final official meeting, and helped with what relief work he could. He'd been down there in those lines, trying to do as much as possible.
It was difficult being out there, past trying to bubble up to and choke him. He swallowed it down. He kept working. He kept helping those he could.
When Spock came to find him a few days after their first conversation, telling him that travel arrangements were made, and two of the survivors of the government were prepared to leave the hospital, he nodded tiredly. He was exhausted, still dirty from being out there on the streets helping with others of his crew. He'd been surprisingly distant and terse with most everyone, but not intentionally. ]
I agree. If something did happen outside of the malfunction, I'd rather not give them the chance to formulate a story with everyone else as to what went down.
[ After that update, it's another night of little sleep before he's dressed in working uniform in order to head to the colony and blend in a little better. It's easy enough to be there when the Karidians are let out of the hospital they are in, and he clocks Lenore from the picture on the PADD. Strangely, there wasn't one of her father.
He goes up to her, putting on the best diplomatic smile he has, and introduces himself as the Captain of the USS Enterprise, offering his sincerest condolences as to the hardships, and explaining that they only hoped to have a moment to try and fully understand what happened at the colony where they were. He's shrugged off rather expertly, it's almost impressive how Lenore manages it, before her father's voice cuts through the air, and it feels like Jim was just cut through to his core. ]
A report was already given as to the details of the accident. My daughter and I have been through a great ordeal, and I find it quite inhuman how someone might prey on an old man and his daughter for answers to questions they have already gotten.
[ Jim, for his part, is too shocked to respond. He knows that voice. How could he forget that voice? That face. He can hear Spock starting to speak in response to the abrupt dismissal despite his captain's sudden lack of ability to speak. ]
these are perfectly nice, by a certain painful definition of nice
[ Spock is no monster; he does understand that to approach someone when they are just released from the hospital is déclassé, to say the least. It would be the height of rudeness in any society, even Vulcan society. It has not stopped him before, demanding answers from people when they are lying on biobeds and McCoy is screaming at him to allow his patients respite.
There is a job Spock must do and that is to be the voice of reason on a ship of humans. He does not shrink from it. If he is rude, then he can accept that. They need answers from this man, and there will be little chance to get answers later.
He watches carefully when Jim freezes. It is an unexpected reaction, because he is not used to seeing Jim in anything but motion, always restless, snapping back replies with ease. But they are a command team, a good one, for a reason, and Spock steps up to his side, to speak to Karidian. ]
You are a man of action, Mr. Karidian. One who has to make decisions and discover answers. Surely you understand why we are here.
[ He watches Karidian's face for anything, but the man is a consummate actor. There is only genial displeasure, a noted contrast to his daughter's temper.
She says something and Spock almost thinks of her as a a little buzzing fly, one he could easily smack away. But she is a human, and young at that, so he does nothing and says nothing, only ignores her.
Karidian raises a hand and she falls silent, and his next words are perfectly bland. ]
I've an old mind to match an old body, and do not speak in riddles. You want my answers; they have been given.
[ There is a reason they are a damn near perfect command team. This is one of those reasons. On a rare occasion where Jim is struck mute, Spock steps up in order to direct the conversation that should be happening.
Jim is trying, desperately, to shake himself out of his memory-induced stupor, but to no avail. All he can hear in his head is a voice declaring death to four thousand. Your lives mean a slow death to the more valued members of the colony. He finally snaps out of it, but only when the two move out of his field of vision, refusing to have anything more to do with Spock's questions. ]
What---[ A beat as he finally drags himself back to the moment, he clenches his hands which he can feel shaking, and his nails dig half circles into his palms. ]---Mr. Spock, what did you say their names were?
[ Spock watches them go and does not look at Jim until they are out of his field of vision. The fact that they are so unwilling to talk and answer a few questions, impropriety be damned, does not show promise. Even Vulcans, who remain forever tight-lipped about their world, are not so reluctant to discuss matters of life and death.
Finally, he looks back to Jim, face expressionless. He has questions, but now is not the time, and Spock knows that. He guides Jim about, one hand on his shoulder, and heads back to the small shuttle they had for the day. ] I was unable to find much information in the databases about them. The records only date back thirteen years. Are you familiar with them, Captain?
[ He is rooted to the spot, like his feet have suddenly turned to lead, and he feels sick. He doesn't move until there's Spock's hand on his shoulder, guiding and steering him along toward the shuttle to take them out to the colonies which malfunctioned.
It couldn't be him. It couldn't. They found his body burned beyond recognition in the governor's mansion. It's his imagination getting the better of him. But that voice. ]
I thought I---[ You look at me, Jim. You have to run, do you understand me? He has to visibly swallow past the bile threatening to choke him at the unbidden memory that swarms up to drag him down. ]---No. I don't know them.
I'm sorry I folded back there. Won't happen again. When we get on board can I see the PADD with all the officials information on it? I want to review it again.
[ Which he does on the trip out. Again. Again, but only ever scrutinizing Karidian's face. Only ever poring over it, and trying to match the face in his memory to the old, haggard man on the page. He brings up other data files. Tarsus IV. Survivor list. Himself. Thomas. Wait, Riley? ]
Mr. Spock, has Kevin Riley been down on the planet assissting in the relief efforts that you know of?
[ Listed as a person of interest in the attack. Jim knows why. It's the same reason he and Thomas are listed as such. They saw Kodos's face. They heard his speech condemning them all to death. If he saw Karidian---would he think what Jim does now? ]
[ Spock says nothing in response to Jim's admission of folding. It is a swift apology, offered with no explanation; the best form of an apology, really. Though Spock wonders - this entire situation has been trying on all of them, but Jim especially. Something about the people, about this place, has made him react Spock does not expect. Thus he cannot create plans and contingencies, which means he is reacting on his feet more often than he would like.
If he did not know Jim as well as he does, Spock might put it down to his captain simply displaying aspects of his humanity. But they have encountered other situations that, while not as dire, could have gotten him to fold, and he had not. There is something about the circumstances of this place.
It is a mystery. Spock hates mystery.
He pulls his attention back to the situation at hand when Jim queries him about the crew. ]
He has been assisting with food distribution and various repairs on the planet. Is there something about him of particular interest?
[ Spock is familiar with Riley's records; he is a solid crew member, perhaps not one of the brightest, but good enough to serve on the Enterprise. Spock can see no reason why Jim would mention him. ]
[ It makes sense now. Too much sense. Martial law. Executions. Help come too late. Always too late. Could he still be wrong though?
Could he be imagining a monster that is long dead? And what if he isn't? He has no proof to back him. He has nothing but his memories. Nothing but a handful of rumors as useful as dust in the sunlight. ]
I want him put with one of the groups with a security detachment. Kept away from the officials and the hospital. If he argues, send him back up to the ship. Understood?
[ Spock raises an eyebrow at that, somewhat surprised. Jim normally does not snap out orders like that, though when he does, it is usually the result of a highly emotional state. ]
Is there a reason for this order, Captain? As a junior crewman, working only on repairs or handing out food, he poses little risk of angering anyone.
[ Despite his question, Spock is already typing it into his PADD, though the lack of a signal means he cannot transmit it to Riley or anyone else who could otherwise communicate the order to the necessary individuals.
If there is one thing Spock dislikes in this world, it is the ease at which communications break down, frequencies end in radio silence, and signals get dropped. ]
[ Jim's jaw clenches at the question and his teeth grind audibly. His mouth works silently a moment as Spock speaks his mind. Usually Jim would welcome such things, not right now. Not considering what is possibly at stake. ]
I don't have to give any specific reason for it, Mr. Spock. I just want you to get it done as soon as possible.
[ He notes that they don't have any signal to communicate back to the others in the capital, so the message won't reach them until after their survey. He makes a soft, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. ]
As soon as we get back to the capital, I want him reassigned. Understood?
[ For a moment, Spock is tempted to argue back. This is irrational and illogical, to single out a specific crewman for accompaniment with no reason, and it is on the tip of his tongue to inform Jim of that fact.
Especially with him not telling Spock. They have been working on communicating better and generally Spock gets answers for Jim's actions, or can deduce the reasoning. This is a reminder of their first months working together, when their differences seemed too huge to over.
Spock takes in the clenched jaw and hears the teeth grinding - an action he should cease, as it will simply cause jaw pain and affect his dental work - and decides against it. He inclines his head. ]
Very well, Captain. As there is little we can do at the moment, you should refocus your attention on the colony.
[ If he sounds a little more reserved than usual, well, most people do not notice the differences in Vulcan speech tones.
Spock adds another note to his growing mental list, and resolves to look at the connection between Jim and Kevin Riley and Karidian. ]
[ Jim has learned to read Spock fairly well, and he can see the tick of his jaw that heralds his displeasure with the current situation. The fact that he is displeased with how things are being handled and the lack of communication on Jim's part. ]
My attention is on the colony. It's also on keeping my people crew safe.
[ He can hear the more reserved tone, and he dismisses it. He can't focus on that now. He scrolls through a few reports, and then casts a glance back to him. ]
You said you couldn't find that much information on Karidian and his daughter. You mean it wasn't there, or ---did it only become available after a certain stardate?
[ Did it correlate with Starfleet finally arriving on Tarsus IV 13 years ago? He doesn't ask it out loud though. ]
[ It appears, at least to Spock, that there is something else going on in Jim's head, something that is distracting him. He has always been firm about protecting his crew, but this is unexpected and unique. ]
Their records date back only that far and there is no prior information for either of them, despite the fact that Karidian at least should have a lengthy history. It is as though they sprang into existence only 13 years ago, my distaste for the phrase aside.
[ Spock had noted how odd was, the fact that nothing existed before. Even his security clearance and hacking abilities had turned up nothing. ]
[ There is something on his mind. Something that has been on his mind for days now. It's eating him up a little bit at time, dividing his attention and making him relive things he never, ever wanted to revisit again. Now here it is, thrust right back into the forefront of his mind and his life.
Except now he has to wonder of he's making up ghosts and monsters, or are they real. Is it possible that Kodos the Executioner is here, now, on this colony?
He's pouring over the historical information that Spock sent to him, but his head snaps up when Spock says that. His thoughts grind to a particularly painful halt, his heart is in his throat, and he feels rocked to his core. ]
13? [ He clears his throat slightly, trying to find a voice that has suddenly left him. His face is pale with shock. ] 13 years, you're sure?
[ Of course he's sure, this is Spock he's talking to. ]
[ Spock might forgive Jim losing his temper and snapping. Could shrug off not talking to him. But questioning him about a number? Questioning him - Spock - about information he has read?
Either Jim is losing his mind or... Jim is losing his mind. There is no other option, because Spock knows well enough that Jim knows he does not incorrectly remember numbers.
He stares at Jim, taking in the pale face, the unsteady voice, the sheer oddity of all of this, and it helps temper his comment slightly. ]
Of course I am sure, Captain. It is a date. Need I remind you I have an eidetic memory?
[ His voice is still lost-sounding. He feels like he's come untethered in the worst way, floating in the black of space in an EVA suit that's just running out of air with each breath he takes. This is a nightmare he thought he buried happening all over again in real time.
His gaze drops down to the PADD in his hands again. To the face of a monster staring back at him. Hesitantly, and he's never been hesitant to meet his first officer's gaze, he looks back over at him. Right now, though, he feels like the slightest scrutiny will reveal every secret he's ever had. Every nightmare he has swallowed in secret. ]
Comma---Spock, what do you know about a colony by the name of Tarsus IV?
[ Spock's eyes narrow as he studies Jim. Nothing is adding up for him, and Spock hates mysteries. He does not even care that it is illogical to hate that which is not sentient, or that hatred itself is an irrational emotion. Something he can not solve, especially when it affects his captain and his friend, is not something Spock tolerates.
The question about Tarsus is rather unexpected, and Spock has to draw on his limited knowledge of the planet. Not much is ever mentioned. ]
It was a colony that suffered an unknown attack and the lives of half of the population of the colony were lost in this attack. Investigations turned up little other information. The timeline of the attack and distress calls are unknown, as it is believed subspace communications failed.
[ Spock studies Jim's face as he speaks, wondering at the connection. The lack of a signal on his PADD so he can search for a possible connection is frustrating, but not insurmountable. He will simply look later. ]
[ He parrots it back dumbly, half-stumbling over his words. Sure, he knows what the reports say. He's known for years now. He knew what they told him after Robert April's ship got he and his friend Thomas to the nearest starbase. It was an accident, an attack.
Of course he agreed. What else could he do? ]
Distress calls were sent out. Help just---it came too late. By the time Starfleet arrived, there were only 4,000 of the 8,000 settlers left. They found the governor's burned body in the mansion. It was assumed that he was there during the most focused attack on the ruling body.
[ In reality it was a revolt. The starving people of the colony fighting back to take control. To try and bring sanity back after thousands were butchered without remorse. They stormed the mansion. Jim remembers hearing the explosions, but he was too exhausted and weak to do anything save huddle on the outskirts with his best friend. ]
[ Spock's expression sharpens the moment Jim starts talking, because he sounds not unlike the Vulcan survivors after Nero's attack. He sounds nothing like the Jim Spock considers a friend.
When Jim mentions that he was on the colony, Spock finally breaks, and leans forward to clasp his hand around Jim's wrist. He refrains from reading any of the surface emotions, though he desires to know more of what is going on in Jim's head.
It's exceedingly rare for him to touch anyone, even Jim, and Spock hopes that the touch will provide some guidance for his friend. ]
Jim. What is going on -
[ He wants to ask what is going on, why is he panicking over this? Yes, the attack and the current situation on the colony might be similar, but Spock can see no reason for such a reaction.
Unfortunately, the shuttle slows to a stop, and the pilot is wandering back to inform them they are at their destination. The worst of the colonies that had been hit; the scent of smoke and death is still obvious in the air, over a week later.
Spock does not drop Jim's hand immediately, waiting until the pilot has left them. He cannot continue his questioning at the moment, but he resolves to pose more queries later. ]
[ Jim blinks rapidly, stunned to abrupt silence when Spock clasps his wrist and he isn't sure how to respond to it. He recognizes it as a good and calming gesture, but he feels neither of those things. In fact he feels more alone in this moment than the days he spent scavenging for food on that colony in order to keep himself and Thomas alive.
Then, as the shuttle is slowing, he finds that he can't answer his first officer in a suitable fashion. He grips his hand back, for a brief moment, and when he looks up to meet his gaze there's obvious pain in his own eyes. ]
[ Spock sighs, audibly. He rarely uses Jim's given name when they are acting in the line of duty, but it felt necessary to repeat his name, as something calming, and a reminder that Spock is there.
But there is little chance to actually get anything across to Jim, or insist that he just tell Spock what is going on with this. They have to depart the shuttle, look over the colony, and assess damage, and they are on a tight schedule. He lets go of Jim's wrist and stands. ]
[ Before Spock stands, and pulls away, he grips his First Officer's hand back. He takes a moment, letting him get a few steps ahead of him, stands to straighten his working uniform, and follows after.
The first thing that strikes him is as if it were pulled straight out of his own memories, and he has to stop, breathe through his mouth, and focus on the task at hand. Some of the others of his crew that are part of security, and medical are covering their faces, coughing. The stench of death is obvious, and it is something Jim will never be able to forget for as long as he lives, he's certain. He turns to face the crew. ]
We split into three teams. Spock is with me, along with Lt. Haverson and Chief Dalen. I want everyone to documenting everything that might be of relevance, keep open channels at all times, and contact the nearest security officer at the first sign of trouble. We meet back here in two hours unless communicated otherwise, understood?
[ There are nods of assent and yes sirs from the crew, and people split off into teams. Jim heads towards one of the housing areas, litter and dust blowing past his feet with the winds increase. ]
[ Spock waits patiently for Jim's orders, relieved that he is not trying to split them apart. A first officer's duty is to his captain, and Spock takes that seriously. Especially in a situation such as this, when there are too many factors that Spock cannot control for, and the risk of danger is too high.
Spock does not require the use of any aids to keep track of time, so he does not bother checking the time as they head toward one of the housing areas. He'll keep Jim on track, if necessary.
The area is desolate, the stench of decay obvious and the amount of ruin not entirely in keeping with the reports. It was a wise decision to visit, as Spock can gain a much clearer vision of the truth. A truth that does not match what the officials have been discussing.
He is about to mention that to Jim when he hears a rustling from inside one of the broken houses, and grabs Jim's shoulder to point in that direction. ]
[ Jim is reckless at the best of times, especially when it comes to his own safety versus the safety of others, but he doesn't feel steady enough to cut off his own right hand in the form of Spock. He knows he's growing increasingly unpredictable the more time goes on, but it's a distant sort of revelation in the back of his mind.
He slows a bit as they come up on the first houses. He remembers what bothered him the most outside of the massacre itself---it was the empty houses. Empty houses with dust voids from valuables taken by the patrols, or the way the dust settled at all. How it caked down and touched everything with a grey reminiscent of death. His standard issue boots kick up the dust and it settles on his working uniform and his hands, and he finds himself staring at it numbly until Spock grabs his shoulder.
He catches a shadow of movement that most would dismiss, but ---god. He knows what it's like to turn into something else. To turn into a wraith and steal through the shadows during the brightest part of the day, and be wary of watching eyes because you have to survive. ]
On me. No phasers, keep it quiet.
[ Jim moves towards the house, trying to separate himself from the parallel memory that is trying to replay in his own head. Bootsteps over broken glass, dust kicking up, it's the guards it has to be. ]
This is Captain---[ Robert April of the---]---James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. We know you sent out for aid, we're here to help. I have a medical chief with me if you have wounded.
We have no affiliations with the government of your world. You're safe with us.
[ Jim puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender and also to show that he's unarmed. ]
[ Even if it were not Spock's duty to see to the protection and safety of the captain, he would stay at Jim's shoulder during this entire trip. It is too unpredictable, and Jim himself is acting too unpredictable, for Spock to be comfortable with allowing Jim to go anywhere without him.
He almost thinks about voicing an objection to Jim stepping forward toward the house, and he makes sure his phaser is easily accessible when Jim holds up his hands in a show of peace. It is not instinctual for Spock to react with violence immediately, but this entire world has him on edge. It is not a natural place, or one that invites a long life - and the best world for any individual is one in which they can prosper, which this colony does not offer. Perhaps once it did, but no longer.
Spock notices the shift of light from the corner of his eyes, and before he can move, a figure steps out of the shadows. Just a kid, young with old, world-weary eyes, and obviously malnourished. Spock does not react other than to take half a step toward Jim, waiting to see what he will do. The kid says nothing, just watches them with wary eyes, the handle of a shovel in his hand, a poor weapon against advanced technology. ]
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sorry not sorry!
[ Spock wants to talk to them for his own reasons, though they are possibly, tangentially related to the reasons Jim wants to talk to them. He does not pretend to know Jim's mind on this, but he understands enough to know something deeper is bothering his captain. ]
I shall take my leave then, Jim. [ He does not add that Jim should try to sleep, or offer well wishes for the evening, as that is not customary for him. And he suspects Jim will not sleep comfortably; none of the human crew members will, with the depressing atmosphere of the colony and the frustrations all around them. ] Your schedule for tomorrow is on your PADD, and I will inform you as soon as travel arrangements are made.
[ There are reasons why Spock is the best first officer in the 'Fleet, and though eidetic memory and organizational skills are only a small portion of that reason, they do help. Adding in the fact that he requires only a little sleep, he is a master of efficiency.
Spock bows and turns on his heel, heading for his own rooms granted him for their stay, already composing messages in his head.
It does not take as long as he suspected to arrange for travel. Possibly because he makes the arrangements through an independent travel company he finds, rather than through official channels. One can only gain so much freedom with government officials, as Spock knows all too well, and he is not afraid to put the force of Vulcan, still relatively powerful despite their hardships, behind his request.
Still, they have little free time; juggling meetings is no easy work, even for a Vulcan. But he manages it, and three nights later, Spock finds himself approaching Jim once again, out on the same balcony. ]
Captain. We are free from meetings tomorrow; it will be the best time to visit the colonies. I have already made arrangements, all that is required is your confirmation.
Also, you wished to be informed when the surviving officials from the colonies have been cleared medically. While I have not queried them regarding their desire to speak, I did discover that Mr. Karidian and his daughter are both to be released tomorrow afternoon, which will leave us a short window in the morning to approach while they are in the hospital.
I would not suggest such an action normally, but with such circumstances, paying an unexpected visit might produce unexpected results.
[ He stares out over the landscape. Fewer people in lines now, but that is not promising. The death toll still rises. ]
this is why we can't have nice things
It was difficult being out there, past trying to bubble up to and choke him. He swallowed it down. He kept working. He kept helping those he could.
When Spock came to find him a few days after their first conversation, telling him that travel arrangements were made, and two of the survivors of the government were prepared to leave the hospital, he nodded tiredly. He was exhausted, still dirty from being out there on the streets helping with others of his crew. He'd been surprisingly distant and terse with most everyone, but not intentionally. ]
I agree. If something did happen outside of the malfunction, I'd rather not give them the chance to formulate a story with everyone else as to what went down.
[ After that update, it's another night of little sleep before he's dressed in working uniform in order to head to the colony and blend in a little better. It's easy enough to be there when the Karidians are let out of the hospital they are in, and he clocks Lenore from the picture on the PADD. Strangely, there wasn't one of her father.
He goes up to her, putting on the best diplomatic smile he has, and introduces himself as the Captain of the USS Enterprise, offering his sincerest condolences as to the hardships, and explaining that they only hoped to have a moment to try and fully understand what happened at the colony where they were. He's shrugged off rather expertly, it's almost impressive how Lenore manages it, before her father's voice cuts through the air, and it feels like Jim was just cut through to his core. ]
A report was already given as to the details of the accident. My daughter and I have been through a great ordeal, and I find it quite inhuman how someone might prey on an old man and his daughter for answers to questions they have already gotten.
[ Jim, for his part, is too shocked to respond. He knows that voice. How could he forget that voice? That face. He can hear Spock starting to speak in response to the abrupt dismissal despite his captain's sudden lack of ability to speak. ]
these are perfectly nice, by a certain painful definition of nice
There is a job Spock must do and that is to be the voice of reason on a ship of humans. He does not shrink from it. If he is rude, then he can accept that. They need answers from this man, and there will be little chance to get answers later.
He watches carefully when Jim freezes. It is an unexpected reaction, because he is not used to seeing Jim in anything but motion, always restless, snapping back replies with ease. But they are a command team, a good one, for a reason, and Spock steps up to his side, to speak to Karidian. ]
You are a man of action, Mr. Karidian. One who has to make decisions and discover answers. Surely you understand why we are here.
[ He watches Karidian's face for anything, but the man is a consummate actor. There is only genial displeasure, a noted contrast to his daughter's temper.
She says something and Spock almost thinks of her as a a little buzzing fly, one he could easily smack away. But she is a human, and young at that, so he does nothing and says nothing, only ignores her.
Karidian raises a hand and she falls silent, and his next words are perfectly bland. ]
I've an old mind to match an old body, and do not speak in riddles. You want my answers; they have been given.
thanks for that, mr. spock.
Jim is trying, desperately, to shake himself out of his memory-induced stupor, but to no avail. All he can hear in his head is a voice declaring death to four thousand. Your lives mean a slow death to the more valued members of the colony. He finally snaps out of it, but only when the two move out of his field of vision, refusing to have anything more to do with Spock's questions. ]
What---[ A beat as he finally drags himself back to the moment, he clenches his hands which he can feel shaking, and his nails dig half circles into his palms. ]---Mr. Spock, what did you say their names were?
no subject
[ Spock watches them go and does not look at Jim until they are out of his field of vision. The fact that they are so unwilling to talk and answer a few questions, impropriety be damned, does not show promise. Even Vulcans, who remain forever tight-lipped about their world, are not so reluctant to discuss matters of life and death.
Finally, he looks back to Jim, face expressionless. He has questions, but now is not the time, and Spock knows that. He guides Jim about, one hand on his shoulder, and heads back to the small shuttle they had for the day. ] I was unable to find much information in the databases about them. The records only date back thirteen years. Are you familiar with them, Captain?
no subject
It couldn't be him. It couldn't. They found his body burned beyond recognition in the governor's mansion. It's his imagination getting the better of him. But that voice. ]
I thought I---[ You look at me, Jim. You have to run, do you understand me? He has to visibly swallow past the bile threatening to choke him at the unbidden memory that swarms up to drag him down. ]---No. I don't know them.
I'm sorry I folded back there. Won't happen again. When we get on board can I see the PADD with all the officials information on it? I want to review it again.
[ Which he does on the trip out. Again. Again, but only ever scrutinizing Karidian's face. Only ever poring over it, and trying to match the face in his memory to the old, haggard man on the page. He brings up other data files. Tarsus IV. Survivor list. Himself. Thomas. Wait, Riley? ]
Mr. Spock, has Kevin Riley been down on the planet assissting in the relief efforts that you know of?
[ Listed as a person of interest in the attack. Jim knows why. It's the same reason he and Thomas are listed as such. They saw Kodos's face. They heard his speech condemning them all to death. If he saw Karidian---would he think what Jim does now? ]
no subject
If he did not know Jim as well as he does, Spock might put it down to his captain simply displaying aspects of his humanity. But they have encountered other situations that, while not as dire, could have gotten him to fold, and he had not. There is something about the circumstances of this place.
It is a mystery. Spock hates mystery.
He pulls his attention back to the situation at hand when Jim queries him about the crew. ]
He has been assisting with food distribution and various repairs on the planet. Is there something about him of particular interest?
[ Spock is familiar with Riley's records; he is a solid crew member, perhaps not one of the brightest, but good enough to serve on the Enterprise. Spock can see no reason why Jim would mention him. ]
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Could he be imagining a monster that is long dead? And what if he isn't? He has no proof to back him. He has nothing but his memories. Nothing but a handful of rumors as useful as dust in the sunlight. ]
I want him put with one of the groups with a security detachment. Kept away from the officials and the hospital. If he argues, send him back up to the ship. Understood?
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Is there a reason for this order, Captain? As a junior crewman, working only on repairs or handing out food, he poses little risk of angering anyone.
[ Despite his question, Spock is already typing it into his PADD, though the lack of a signal means he cannot transmit it to Riley or anyone else who could otherwise communicate the order to the necessary individuals.
If there is one thing Spock dislikes in this world, it is the ease at which communications break down, frequencies end in radio silence, and signals get dropped. ]
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I don't have to give any specific reason for it, Mr. Spock. I just want you to get it done as soon as possible.
[ He notes that they don't have any signal to communicate back to the others in the capital, so the message won't reach them until after their survey. He makes a soft, frustrated noise in the back of his throat. ]
As soon as we get back to the capital, I want him reassigned. Understood?
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Especially with him not telling Spock. They have been working on communicating better and generally Spock gets answers for Jim's actions, or can deduce the reasoning. This is a reminder of their first months working together, when their differences seemed too huge to over.
Spock takes in the clenched jaw and hears the teeth grinding - an action he should cease, as it will simply cause jaw pain and affect his dental work - and decides against it. He inclines his head. ]
Very well, Captain. As there is little we can do at the moment, you should refocus your attention on the colony.
[ If he sounds a little more reserved than usual, well, most people do not notice the differences in Vulcan speech tones.
Spock adds another note to his growing mental list, and resolves to look at the connection between Jim and Kevin Riley and Karidian. ]
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My attention is on the colony. It's also on keeping my people crew safe.
[ He can hear the more reserved tone, and he dismisses it. He can't focus on that now. He scrolls through a few reports, and then casts a glance back to him. ]
You said you couldn't find that much information on Karidian and his daughter. You mean it wasn't there, or ---did it only become available after a certain stardate?
[ Did it correlate with Starfleet finally arriving on Tarsus IV 13 years ago? He doesn't ask it out loud though. ]
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[ It appears, at least to Spock, that there is something else going on in Jim's head, something that is distracting him. He has always been firm about protecting his crew, but this is unexpected and unique. ]
Their records date back only that far and there is no prior information for either of them, despite the fact that Karidian at least should have a lengthy history. It is as though they sprang into existence only 13 years ago, my distaste for the phrase aside.
[ Spock had noted how odd was, the fact that nothing existed before. Even his security clearance and hacking abilities had turned up nothing. ]
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[ There is something on his mind. Something that has been on his mind for days now. It's eating him up a little bit at time, dividing his attention and making him relive things he never, ever wanted to revisit again. Now here it is, thrust right back into the forefront of his mind and his life.
Except now he has to wonder of he's making up ghosts and monsters, or are they real. Is it possible that Kodos the Executioner is here, now, on this colony?
He's pouring over the historical information that Spock sent to him, but his head snaps up when Spock says that. His thoughts grind to a particularly painful halt, his heart is in his throat, and he feels rocked to his core. ]
13? [ He clears his throat slightly, trying to find a voice that has suddenly left him. His face is pale with shock. ] 13 years, you're sure?
[ Of course he's sure, this is Spock he's talking to. ]
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Either Jim is losing his mind or... Jim is losing his mind. There is no other option, because Spock knows well enough that Jim knows he does not incorrectly remember numbers.
He stares at Jim, taking in the pale face, the unsteady voice, the sheer oddity of all of this, and it helps temper his comment slightly. ]
Of course I am sure, Captain. It is a date. Need I remind you I have an eidetic memory?
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[ His voice is still lost-sounding. He feels like he's come untethered in the worst way, floating in the black of space in an EVA suit that's just running out of air with each breath he takes. This is a nightmare he thought he buried happening all over again in real time.
His gaze drops down to the PADD in his hands again. To the face of a monster staring back at him. Hesitantly, and he's never been hesitant to meet his first officer's gaze, he looks back over at him. Right now, though, he feels like the slightest scrutiny will reveal every secret he's ever had. Every nightmare he has swallowed in secret. ]
Comma---Spock, what do you know about a colony by the name of Tarsus IV?
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The question about Tarsus is rather unexpected, and Spock has to draw on his limited knowledge of the planet. Not much is ever mentioned. ]
It was a colony that suffered an unknown attack and the lives of half of the population of the colony were lost in this attack. Investigations turned up little other information. The timeline of the attack and distress calls are unknown, as it is believed subspace communications failed.
[ Spock studies Jim's face as he speaks, wondering at the connection. The lack of a signal on his PADD so he can search for a possible connection is frustrating, but not insurmountable. He will simply look later. ]
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[ He parrots it back dumbly, half-stumbling over his words. Sure, he knows what the reports say. He's known for years now. He knew what they told him after Robert April's ship got he and his friend Thomas to the nearest starbase. It was an accident, an attack.
Of course he agreed. What else could he do? ]
Distress calls were sent out. Help just---it came too late. By the time Starfleet arrived, there were only 4,000 of the 8,000 settlers left. They found the governor's burned body in the mansion. It was assumed that he was there during the most focused attack on the ruling body.
[ In reality it was a revolt. The starving people of the colony fighting back to take control. To try and bring sanity back after thousands were butchered without remorse. They stormed the mansion. Jim remembers hearing the explosions, but he was too exhausted and weak to do anything save huddle on the outskirts with his best friend. ]
I was on that colony.
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When Jim mentions that he was on the colony, Spock finally breaks, and leans forward to clasp his hand around Jim's wrist. He refrains from reading any of the surface emotions, though he desires to know more of what is going on in Jim's head.
It's exceedingly rare for him to touch anyone, even Jim, and Spock hopes that the touch will provide some guidance for his friend. ]
Jim. What is going on -
[ He wants to ask what is going on, why is he panicking over this? Yes, the attack and the current situation on the colony might be similar, but Spock can see no reason for such a reaction.
Unfortunately, the shuttle slows to a stop, and the pilot is wandering back to inform them they are at their destination. The worst of the colonies that had been hit; the scent of smoke and death is still obvious in the air, over a week later.
Spock does not drop Jim's hand immediately, waiting until the pilot has left them. He cannot continue his questioning at the moment, but he resolves to pose more queries later. ]
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Then, as the shuttle is slowing, he finds that he can't answer his first officer in a suitable fashion. He grips his hand back, for a brief moment, and when he looks up to meet his gaze there's obvious pain in his own eyes. ]
I can't. Im sorry I can't.
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[ Spock sighs, audibly. He rarely uses Jim's given name when they are acting in the line of duty, but it felt necessary to repeat his name, as something calming, and a reminder that Spock is there.
But there is little chance to actually get anything across to Jim, or insist that he just tell Spock what is going on with this. They have to depart the shuttle, look over the colony, and assess damage, and they are on a tight schedule. He lets go of Jim's wrist and stands. ]
Let us proceed, Captain.
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The first thing that strikes him is as if it were pulled straight out of his own memories, and he has to stop, breathe through his mouth, and focus on the task at hand. Some of the others of his crew that are part of security, and medical are covering their faces, coughing. The stench of death is obvious, and it is something Jim will never be able to forget for as long as he lives, he's certain. He turns to face the crew. ]
We split into three teams. Spock is with me, along with Lt. Haverson and Chief Dalen. I want everyone to documenting everything that might be of relevance, keep open channels at all times, and contact the nearest security officer at the first sign of trouble. We meet back here in two hours unless communicated otherwise, understood?
[ There are nods of assent and yes sirs from the crew, and people split off into teams. Jim heads towards one of the housing areas, litter and dust blowing past his feet with the winds increase. ]
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Spock does not require the use of any aids to keep track of time, so he does not bother checking the time as they head toward one of the housing areas. He'll keep Jim on track, if necessary.
The area is desolate, the stench of decay obvious and the amount of ruin not entirely in keeping with the reports. It was a wise decision to visit, as Spock can gain a much clearer vision of the truth. A truth that does not match what the officials have been discussing.
He is about to mention that to Jim when he hears a rustling from inside one of the broken houses, and grabs Jim's shoulder to point in that direction. ]
Something over there, Captain.
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He slows a bit as they come up on the first houses. He remembers what bothered him the most outside of the massacre itself---it was the empty houses. Empty houses with dust voids from valuables taken by the patrols, or the way the dust settled at all. How it caked down and touched everything with a grey reminiscent of death. His standard issue boots kick up the dust and it settles on his working uniform and his hands, and he finds himself staring at it numbly until Spock grabs his shoulder.
He catches a shadow of movement that most would dismiss, but ---god. He knows what it's like to turn into something else. To turn into a wraith and steal through the shadows during the brightest part of the day, and be wary of watching eyes because you have to survive. ]
On me. No phasers, keep it quiet.
[ Jim moves towards the house, trying to separate himself from the parallel memory that is trying to replay in his own head. Bootsteps over broken glass, dust kicking up, it's the guards it has to be. ]
This is Captain---[ Robert April of the---]---James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. We know you sent out for aid, we're here to help. I have a medical chief with me if you have wounded.
We have no affiliations with the government of your world. You're safe with us.
[ Jim puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender and also to show that he's unarmed. ]
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He almost thinks about voicing an objection to Jim stepping forward toward the house, and he makes sure his phaser is easily accessible when Jim holds up his hands in a show of peace. It is not instinctual for Spock to react with violence immediately, but this entire world has him on edge. It is not a natural place, or one that invites a long life - and the best world for any individual is one in which they can prosper, which this colony does not offer. Perhaps once it did, but no longer.
Spock notices the shift of light from the corner of his eyes, and before he can move, a figure steps out of the shadows. Just a kid, young with old, world-weary eyes, and obviously malnourished. Spock does not react other than to take half a step toward Jim, waiting to see what he will do. The kid says nothing, just watches them with wary eyes, the handle of a shovel in his hand, a poor weapon against advanced technology. ]
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